Satisfaction

Saw this movie, Take This Waltz, about a young couple (Seth Rogan & Michelle Williams), in love.. but not madly in love.  He's everything you'd want in the perfect HUSBAND; caring, loving, endearing and understanding.  In one of the sweetest scenes of the movie, her husband (Lou) tells his wife (Margot) he would be around when she's old, gray and on her death bed.  And Margot, the wife played by Williams, is being lured by the greener grass.

Margot & her new beefcake

She mentions earlier in the movie how she's terrified of connections at airports -- missing the connection, where to go, what to do, how to do it, how to get there... In reality, what Margot is really terrified about is missing something, and afraid of being afraid.

 Here we meet some beefcake who sweeps her off her feet, when he just really represents exactly what she's afraid of.  She fully well knows how phenomenal her husband is, right?  But she feels as if something's missing. 


During a conversation with an older lady giving our girl (suffering from grass is greener syndrome) advice, the older lady says:

                 What's new will always turn old, 
                       and what's old was always once new.


So, Margot leaves her awesome husband for a beefcake.  Time goes by, and her new beefcake becomes an old beefcake... only to feel the same feeling she did with her awesome husband.  She then realizes, she's spent most of her life trying to fill something, fill an empty space.

Margot & Lou

Truth is, there will always be an empty space in life, something that feels missing, something a little off.  And I feel like we live in a way where we interpret the feeling of something missing to be that something is actually wrong, and needs to be fixed, or can be fixed.  And maybe sometimes that never ending feeling of never feeling quite satisfied is wrong, but what many fail to realize that the something missing is usually inside themselves, and not their outer forces (like a husband, girlfriend, job, family... you get it).

I feel as if I've been in Margot's shoes a long, long time.  Always feeling the need that the gap has to be filled, or even can be filled, has left me restless.  Or maybe my health problems has left me constantly trying to compensate for it, trying to be normal or appear to be normal.  For instance, if work, school, and friends were going well... I felt as if I needed love in my life to bring everything into fruition.  Or... in order to appear as a normal woman, I needed a man to have myself say, "look!  I'm sick and I can have normality just like you!"


Life always has a gap in it... don't go crazy trying to fill it.