Saturday, November 3, 2012

Shoulda Coulda

So... I had the opportunity to get to know someone.  I went into it just going to hang-out with someone, no expectations, no nothing.  He was handsome, charming, and we had a lot in common.  We could talk about everything from life philosophy to something trivial as movies.  It was the definition of compatibility -- 99% to be exact.

It was very apparent from the first date we may have gotten a little too excited.  However, I knew I had to tell him I had MS.  I didn't want him to waste his time if he had a problem with my diagnosis.  When it comes to relationships, dating, involvements - whatever - I always like to take my time.

Unfortunately, with extremely bad timing:  the hurricane floods my basement, I lost my job, I was in a bike accident which left me in the hospital.  I'm also trying to get a job at the hospital, looking for a new place to live and studying for exams... everything was very overwhelming, considering my life is usually calm.  I had felt as if I just unloaded giant baggage.  I wanted to talk to him and say:  hey, can we cool it down until I feel better, my exams are over and life isn't so messy?  It didn't come out that way.  The words I wanted to say were definitely not the words that came out.  Meanwhile, my brain is scattered, and all I want to say is, just relax and get to know me.

I lost a very lovely person with potential to extremely bad timing -- two people who got in over our heads excited about the prospects, and not the present.

Needless to say, I've never been in this kind of situation before.