It’s been almost 24 hours since I started my IV-meds. I can happily say that my hands are not as numb as they have been for the last month, though my fingertips are still missing the proper sensation. My eyesight has also improved immensely.
I’ve also been contemplating the subject of karma. For years, especially when the MS began, I always cried, “Why me!” Wondering what I did in the first place to deserve all of the tragedy that has come with the illness.
I’ve said before, that prior to my diagnosis, I wasn’t the most perfect person. I mean, who is, anyway? Though, I’m not proud of things I’ve done. I behaved very childishly immature, in my early 20’s, only caring about myself.
The other night, an ex-boyfriend told me that I contributed to his trust issues in people. The words are burned into my brain because I’m sure I’ve led to the same problem with many other people I’ve known when I was younger.
I’m also sure there are quite a few people that are happy to see me with a diagnosis.
However, I couldn’t be happier about all of the hospital visits, the diagnosis, and the pain. I’ve had to learn about patience, love, unselfishness and trust.
Do I believe in karma? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’ve learned very important lessons over the past few years. I wouldn’t trade anything I’ve been through for the world. Fortunately, the worst of times has brought out the best in me.
