I'm really anxious to wipe this past year off my radar. I've been totally loony-tunes and out of my element. I was finally learning to live life as true to myself, sick or not. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, I was uncomfortable becoming close to people and I was uncomfortable accepting the fact my life will never be normal again.
From finding true friends, surgeries, hospital stays and purposely sabotaging a relationship because I didn't want to get hurt again... I don't regret any of it. I've learned some important lessons this year. I've been to hell and back, bringing some people I love down with me. I haven't felt like myself in a long time -- carefree, positive and real. There are things I've done I'm not proud of, some things I'm embarrassed about, but it doesn't matter now.
Even though my dad is not well at this time, I'm happy. I feel back to my old self again, just more improved. I'm no longer cold, and better adapted to sharing my feelings with the people I care about. I'm excited to fall in love all over again, let things happen naturally and not do some damage out of fear. I can finally say I'm not a diagnosis, I am not a 'sick girl', and the only reason I was damaged was because I considered myself damaged. And what means the world to me is that my friends and family notice a difference. I've worked really hard to get to this point.
Thank you all for sticking with me. It's been a crazy (literally, crazy) ride and in my heart, I know the ride was worth it.
