5. Jumping To Conclusions
There have been many, many times men have jumped to the conclusion that I cannot bear children. Even though I'm pretty sure I don't want children in the future (and if I do, I'd probably want to adopt), men think because of my diagnosis, I'm barren. Fact is, pregnant women with MS are 5 times more likely to be even healthier during their pregnancy. Not to mention, many jump to the conclusion that MS will render me useless in my old age. Maybe it will, but the only one who knows for sure is my body. The most unfortunate case has been being turned down from jobs because of my health (not just MS).
Although that shit is illegal, it's not exactly something you can prove.
4. InsultsI have pretty thick skin. The only people I honestly care about how and what they feel
about me is my family. I've always believed when someone has something pretty bad to say
about you, it's usually because they see something in you they feel they lack themselves. Or
the actual insults and the act of putting you down, lifts them 'up' in some way.
However, it pisses me off (not really 'hurts') when my disability is used against me in some way. For example, a few months ago I was called a "gimp". Or the worst, "you deserve cancer!" Man, it's just plain evil.
3. "But You Don't Look Disabled"
Even though I have handicapped parking plates on my car, I usually don't park in a handicapped space unless I feel it's necessary. I know first hand how it is being in a wheelchair (or using a cane/walker) and being unable to park in a handicapped spot when I really needed it. But when I did park in those spots, there have been times I've been approached with the angry statement, "but you don't look disabled!"
2. No Invite
Sometimes friends won't invite me to certain places because they're afraid it would be too much for me, and my MS, to handle. Like if a camping trip was being planned, or down to small tasks such as going into a jacuzzi.
I'm not a person totally incapable of having fun because I have Multiple Sclerosis. I can do the same shit you do -- and sometimes -- even better. So what? I have MS. It doesn't mean I sit at home with my thumb up my ass.
1. Damaged Goods
My number one pet peeve is being treated as damaged goods.
I will never forget how one day in rehab, my speech therapist came in for our session while my father was in the room visiting. My speech therapist, who is paralyzed from a neck injury from the waist down, is permanently in a wheelchair. My dad was asking her about her disability and her personal life... then seemed shocked to find out she was married. As soon as my therapist left our session, my dad turns and says, "see! She can find a man and a good job! I'm sure you can too!"
I know he meant well, but it hurt like hell.
The fact is -- I'm proud of myself. I know it sounds morbid, but I'm kind of thankful I've been through what I've been through. I wasn't the greatest person in my early 20's (already with health problems, anyway). Being disabled has jump-started something inside me that I could never fully comprehend or even begin to explain.
I love life. I have such an appreciation for life and waking up every single day. And even though things can be shaky (like trying to date or find work suitable for my disability), I still make what's best of it. What kind of life is it if you're miserable all of the damn time? I don't want to be that person who hates waking up in the morning. I don't want to be that person who takes things for granted. And especially don't want to be that person who doesn't appreciate all the awesome small things life has to offer me.
