After my diagnosis, I’ve noticed a change in my relationships and the way I have handled them. Not only have I been cautious of people, I feel as if friendship should be something that is earned. Although, when I become close with someone, I don’t take them for granted. In any kind of relations I have, I give them the effort they deserve.
At one point, I had such a hard time remembering names, even for people I considered friends. Even though I’m still pretty extroverted, outgoing and easy to get along with, the number of people I truly consider friends has dwindled down. This is not anything I’m upset about; I love my friends. I love that they are considerate, thoughtful and caring. The days of worrying whether someone I consider a friend is flaky are over. I feel honored to have such people in my life.
As for romantic relationships, that is something I want to take slow. Years ago, I jumped in so fast, that I was left wondering weeks later “what in the hell did I get myself into?” Also, I need reassurance that someone will be considerate of my diagnosis and be there when I need them most. I’m not the same girl I was a few years ago and some people can’t grasp the idea that I want nothing more than a life I can be proud of.
While there may be an instant attraction to someone and on some level an immediate connection, it takes time to get to know each other enough to be able to say you have a real and meaningful relationship.
Too often we let the initial infatuation fool us into thinking you've found "the one". So by taking things slow you grow together at a nice steady pace and that just makes it that much stronger and able to withstand the inevitable disagreements that will come up from time to time.
Having said all that, I think relationships take on a life of their own and move at a pace that is very difficult to control. Those that have promise will move quickly in a natural pace, those that don't will stagnate sooner rather than later.
Start putting effort into getting to know someone,
but only if they seem like someone that is worth that effort.
Start talking.
There is no better feeling than being with someone you can be comfortable with.
