"The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid. We fear we will not find love, and when we find it, we fear we'll lose it. We fear that if we do not have love, we will be unhappy."
-- Richard Bach
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First and foremost, I want to thank my readers who donated. Me and my family were able to pay a huge bill for my rehab back in November. We appreciate it so much, and when I showed my mom the amount in PayPal, she cried happy tears. So, thank you so much for being awesome!
Second, I started this blog a little over two years ago. I follow many blogs from authors who are sick, but no one really went into detail about what life is like actually being sick. And even though we are all different in our own right, we have one thing in common; our health. I can write a million entries about case studies, cures, but I want disease to have a face. Through reader's submissions, through stories of my daily life -- I want the disease to have a face, a story, a human being behind it.
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I've been eating super healthy, which is a big deal in my life because I just don't cook. My fridge has been packed with green, with fruits and water bottles. I've only had a few drinks in the past month, and this no boozing policy made a giant difference. I haven't felt this energized in awhile.
The other night, I was out with a friend and I was leaning against the door frame of my car when my friend went to shut the door -- but it shut on my damn hand. Bounced right off. I've been in incredible pain the past few days. I was staying at a friend's house ❤ the other night, and he gave me some Motrin and an ice pack. It helps, but the pain gravitates from hand up to my shoulder blade. My boss helped me get an quick appointment to get an X-ray this morning and I have a small fracture in my thumb. MS is funny, it can flare-up with the smallest thing. Even though my body is fine, the fracture in my hand is making my hand seriously shaky, and nuts with pins and needles.
I was watching an interview with Mitt Romney's wife, Ann, who suffers from MS and cancer. A reader recommended it to me (thanks Shawna). I thought it was interesting she said MS is much more difficult to deal with than cancer. I agree with her -- MS is unpredictable and has no treatments. There isn't much known about MS as there is with cancer. What do you guys think?
Spring break is going on in session, but work is going really well. However, I'm trying to look for makeup jobs again now that I'm feeling better. I didn't want my MS to damage my reputation, so I tried to duck out for a quick minute until I felt I was ready to have a steady hand to do it again. I have a wedding coming up in two weeks I'm working, I'm sure I'll be busy during prom season and I've been talking with a salon by me to come in and do appointments.
And one last thing... It is legit awesome to have someone special there you care about and who cares just the same about you. Someone you can talk about life, love and hardships with. Someone to share your day with. Someone to go to with bad news, with good news. I've been missing that in my life for a long time, and it's really sweet to just sit back, relax and let the positive take over. The things coming out of my mouth lately have been super corny, but I like it. I'm fiercely loyal and protective. When I truly care about someone, their happiness is a priority of mine. I cannot see someone I care about in pain, or suffering in any way, because that makes me suffer as well.
you can lose sight of it all.
and the darkness inside you
and the darkness inside you
I know can make you feel so small.
if this world makes you crazy,
and you've taken all you can bear,
you call me up.
because you know I'll be there.
and you've taken all you can bear,
you call me up.
because you know I'll be there.
