Reader's Submission: Brie's Diagnosis

My boyfriend came around the bed, pulled me up and supported my steps all the way to the bathroom. I sternly made him leave me alone as I tried to stand on my own. I was holding on to the sink , staring at my reflection in the mirror and saying to myself "come on! Standing up is not that tough!" then, as I let go I fell to the floor, wallowing in a pool of my own urine and was unable to stand back up.

Just the day before, I was enjoying my life and job as a busy, successful bar  manager. I was walking aimlessly through life, excited about what the future may bring my way. The day after, I realized how cruel the future could be. I was lying in a hospital bed, unable to walk, barely able to talk and fearing my diagnosis. I was terrified of what was coming when a doctor, with a less than desirable bed-side manner, simply looked at me and said "Oh yeah, you have MS" and walked out of the icy cold hospital room. I was left all alone to come to terms with the news. For the first time in my life I was faced with my own mortality, unsure of what a life with Multiple Sclerosis would mean.

My busy fun-filled life had now turned to punishing days filled with depression, dependence and exhausting physical therapy. I remember hours and hours of frustration over not being able to stick a peg in a hole. Some challenges were just too much. I became isolated and withdrawn, pushing away everyone I loved. It was in that isolation that I realized that the disease may have my body, but my mind was vibrant and well.

As time went on, I was able to regain my ability to walk and talk, but the fear of relapse is always lurking around the proverbial corner. I was, and still am very well aware that MS is not curable and I will most likely end up in a wheelchair. More importantly, I came to realize the one thing that I can still depend on is my brain and my spirit. During my isolation and seclusion I had an epiphany. I could exercise the assets I had and either use my brain to learn or to teach. I decided to do both.

Changing my perspective changed my life. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have often been thankful for my diagnosis. I went back to school, I am working on my Masters Degree, and I am also teaching. I have found wonderful treasures in the little moments in life.