Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson developed eight stages of human development that map out the development in our lives. Erikson's basic philosophy is said to rest on two major themes: (1) the world gets bigger as we go along and (2) failure is cumulative.
Ages 18 through 35
Intimacy vs. Isolation
In the initial stage of being an adult we seek one or more companions and love. As we try to find mutually satisfying relationships, primarily through marriage and friends, we generally also begin to discover the true definition and meaning of our feelings. We start to find people we have a connection with. If negotiating this stage is successful, we can experience intimacy on a deeper level than we did in early adulthood.
If we're not successful, isolation and distance from others may occur. And when we don't find it easy to create satisfying relationships, our world can begin to close off, as in defense... we build walls. Well, this is all what Erikson says.
I am no hero. If you find me inspirational, I’m honored, but I hope you find something inside yourself that is inspiring. I’m still in the process of finding myself. I don’t want MS to define who I am; this is not what this blog is about. This blog’s purpose is like Erikson’s stages of human development; finding my course of direction after my diagnosis. Every decision I make, every feeling I have, all of my experiences; they are all new to me. Who I was a few years ago is now a stranger.
At one point, we leave home, our relationships or goals change, and we may be faced with major life changes—the quarter life crisis. Then we struggle with finding new meanings and purposes. This is the stage I’m at right now. However, there's always the chance that somewhere along the way the strength of the human spirit can be ignited and deficits overcome. My feelings get hurt, my dreams are doubted and I wonder if any of my efforts are making a difference. Other times, I have intoxication with my new life, my heart feels on fire, or like I have been blind but now I can see.
MS or not, this is where we are all at in our lives.
Do I know how to make a relationship successful? Am I being a good friend? Is all of my hard work paying off? I don’t know. I’m only human and I make mistakes. I’m really trying, I really am. We can only live and learn. All I know is that I want to try my hardest, give everything in my life all I have, see what happens and just enjoy it.
While all the pieces are put together, it’s an experience that I love to see as if I were watching an artist make final touches to their masterpiece. Then at the end of the day, at the end of this stage of my life, I have a Mona Lisa.
