“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” - Albert Einstein
I guess everyone has his or her own definition for the meaning of life. I also think it differs with age. Hell, when I was just a kid, I just wanted to have fun. Time clicks by, wrinkles start to show, relationships come and go, people you know start to die, friends get married and have children, you become responsible for not only your life, but another. Then the feeling sets in; what is the meaning of it all? I think most of us want the same thing -- happiness.
Probably every psychologist has reasoned that people fear death most. I feel people fear death because the feeling of wasted time, not using your time on Earth wisely, or having regret before death. It could take years for someone to find his or her sense of purpose. I’m lucky enough to have reached it now.
It all started when I started talking, just talking, with other young women with this disease. They didn’t feel so alone anymore. Then, I started volunteering for the MS Society, which led to me doing fund-raising. Eventually, I’m walking or running marathons for MS. It’s not for me… well some of it is. I honestly want some brilliant brain to find the cure so no one else has to endure such an unpredictable disease.
So how did I come to be so unbelievably happy? It’s not like I have the greatest job on the planet, money coming out of my eyeballs, a sweet husband or darling children. Having a boyfriend doesn't equal happiness. Living in a fantastic apartment, nice clothes, or a great job -- it's all on the surface. I started to respect myself. I make goals, no matter how difficult, and I try my best to accomplish them. I left behind relationships that pulled me under and people who I couldn’t be myself around. I realized that I deserve the best. When you are finally at the point of loving yourself for who you are, you will then finally feel that settling is not an option – you deserve the absolute best in life. It doesn’t come wrapped in a box with a bow; it takes time to work at it. Maybe you’ll wake up one morning and feel this way, or maybe you’ll go through a trauma forcing you to face the reality of finding self purpose like I have.
Be happy that you are alive, having the cards in the deck lain out and it is up to you how to play them. Make changes. Improve yourself. Believe nothing is impossible. And most importantly, once you love yourself, start to share that love with others.
