"Too much of a good thing does not make it a good thing very long" -- my fortune cookie.
I wish I could stay this age forever.
Recently, I won award money for school by writing an essay on MS and what it was like being disabled. After the next semester, I'll start applying for the bigwig schools. I'm excited about my higher education and how far I've come.
Though, I'm still pushing myself. There's a marathon in the spring and I figured if I could ride a bike, I could definitely run on foot. I barely have any free time and I'm always on the go, something I like but I can feel my body telling me "enough already". On top of that, I barely eat. It's not something I choose to do purposely, I'm just so busy that I can never tell if I'm hungry or not. I can't use the same pair of pants after 3 weeks because they become too big; have no idea what size I am now. And I have two work projects coming up that guarantee even more of a time-suck.
The friendships I had in my youth are so much different than what they are today. Today, we talk about love, life and change. Then, we talked about bars, sex and drama. All the bridges are burned between any hostile friendships I have had. It warms my heart to hear about friends getting married, having children or are successful at work. The stability at this age can get shaky, but watching it bloom into something so fantastic is amazing.
I have a very close friend, MG, that I care about very deeply. She’s the reason I’ve been fortunate enough to experience life without my walls up. MG has brought happiness in my life and when I’m around her, I feel at home. Last night, me, MG and another close friend, A, were sitting on a roof deck in Northern Liberties, looking at the Philadelphia skyline. That moment was euphoria. I’m a sucker for the “little things”, and moments like that always stick in my mind the most. I was in the greatest city in the world, with some of the most extraordinary people I’ve been lucky to meet.
For four years, I avoided dating altogether. It came time this past year to decide whether or not I was ready for a relationship. Of course, there are always a few frogs or guys that aren’t mutually mentally and emotionally mature as I am at this point in life. It’s been so long since I have felt anything for anyone romantically. I would never have believed how difficult it is to find someone that can quit playing games and let things happen naturally. It’s also difficult for guys to get used to my schedule. I’m so curious to how something could develop considering my friendships have grown this beautifully. Won’t lie; I’m so very tired of the dating game. I hate that there are conceived rules, pressure on marriage and mind tricks. I’m tired of bullshit.
A partnership where just being around each other is enough, where sex becomes intense due to a special chemistry, and the ability to feel absolutely comfortable.
For so long, I was dependent on other people to help me; bathe, eat, walk. It's nice for a change, to depend on one person, like I have been for awhile. But the other people in my life make living so much sweeter.
